A Grandmother's Advice to her Daughter-in-law
Today, during my daily Facetime with my grandson and his mom, I told them that I would like to raise a healthy and smart grandbaby but before I can help or teach the baby, the Mommy has to take parenting lessons first, so this post is especially for Andi:
Putting aside our differences in culture, we definitely have to reconcile our child-rearing practices. Like I always say, teaching a child begins even before birth. If babies could hear while in the womb, now that he is one, he can surely absorb everything around him. Don’t say that he’s only a baby, his brain is a big sponge that needs soaking.
I am not there every day to tell you or show you ways to stimulate his senses, so all I could hope for is that you take my suggestions with an open mind and heart. Here are five activities that I ask you to do with him every day:
How often do you hear me sing, “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes”? Pretty much every call, right? It is not just a song; it teaches him his body parts, so point out body parts as often as you can. Point to his and let him find yours.
I know I am asking a lot from you to read a book to him but even if it is the same book every single day, just do it! You will be surprised when one day he will tell you what’s on the next page!
Sing a song to him. I try to do this every time I call because babies don’t care about the tune or what you’re singing, they love it anyway. Music stimulates most of their senses: hearing, sight, and touch. If you don’t want to sing, at least recite a nursery rhyme, but when you both sing and recite is better.
At bedtime, please pray with or for him or ask Andrew to do so.
The songs, rhymes and prayers that he hears now, will be the first memories he will have as an adult. These are the ones that he will remember his entire life. My three precious angels could recite the Guardian Angel prayer in a snap.
The following are not just tips to help you get things done around the house, this is also generally my survival guide in raising my own kids.
I urge you to read Sirach 30:1-13, which is aptly titled "Bringing up Children". You will understand my relationship with my children and why Andrew is who he is now.
"So discipline your son and give him work to do, or else he will be an embarrassment to you."
Sirach 30:13
When you’re busy in the kitchen, let him bang on pots and pans. This will actually keep him occupied, trust me, you can do more when he makes a raucous. Pretend that there is a rock concert going on. This activity could actually motivate a love for music. There was a study about the correlation of music and memory retention, those who play music tend to do better in school.
Or if you want some peace and quiet, roll a large ball on the floor for him to follow. Use a large ball, large enough for him to ride and tumble on. I am not so sure what this would teach him but it would definitely get him off your tail.
Set up a ball pit in the living room. Keep him visible at all times not only to watch what he is doing but to constantly talk to him. Yes, speech comes naturally but a great mind is developed and trained. Call out the colors, give instructions... be creative!
When he cries, talk to him or pat or soothe him by touch, if this doesn't work, then play! One of the most effective ways to stop a crying baby is to play peek-a-boo. This is a good social and emotional development game. When you quickly give him his pacifier, he will not and cannot verbalize his needs. You are stifling his speech development.
Keep his favorite toys out. Toys are not for entertainment, it is for development so make sure that he always has access to his toys.
I hope by now you have noticed that I always encourage Eli to play with the baby, rough at times, but it's okay. Rowdy play will help him improve socially. It is better to have a house full of toys and noise with smart kids than a clean house and children with blank stares.
Curiosity is an important indicator of intelligence. A child who asks should get answers! Therefore, YOU have to be creative in creating stimuli for curiosity. Spend time in planning age-appropriate activities for the boys. Don't let them have idle time.
"Apply your heart to discipline And your ears to words of knowledge. Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod And rescue his soul from Sheol."
Proverbs 23:12-14
Eli is at an age that will keep pushing the limits, so you have to watch out. Teach responsibility by assigning things he can do, then allowing him to make choices with corresponding rewards and consequences. During the summer, when I leave my kids at home, I also leave them a list of things to do, mostly math and reading activities.
Accept that children are gifts from above so always remember, "To whom much is given, much will be required." (Luke 12:48).
Although this post is addressed to my daughter-in-law, I hope that my fellow Glammas can share this with theirs.
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